I know it's been a while I wrote but I felt the need to address the issue of forgiveness and why not forgiving can create a hindrance within ourselves. Choosing to forgive daily does come with a price tag - of getting over hurt, grief, pain and imbalance. We as humans tend to over up our emotions and push it to the side, while in reality it breaks out spirit within.
Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart improves the body and a depressed spirit dries the bones.."
Unforgiveness can cause depression and break your spirit. When emotions are blocked they will vibrate to a corresponding organ system. it is important to remember that it is normal to experience the full range of emotions. It is only when a particular emotion is experienced over a prolonged period or with particular intensity that it becomes a source of imbalance. Depression can stem from anger, rage, bitterness, sadness, not feeling loved/wanted. In a more long-term view, suppressed anger or frustration often causes liver qi to become stagnant; this might result in depression or menstrual disorders. Too much thinking or obsessing about a topic can also deplete the spleen, causing a stagnation of its qi. Sadness or grief affects the lungs, producing fatigue, shortness of breath, crying, or depression. A person with this condition may exhibit such symptoms as poor appetite, forgetting to eat, and bloating after eating. A person who worries too much "carries the weight of the world on his/her shoulders,"
When the Qi/Emotions and blood are blocked and not flowing smoothly symptoms such as endometriosis, blocked tubes, blood clots, premenstrual cramping and pain, and irregular menses can occur. The Liver is important in reproduction largely because of its role in menstruation. During the premenstrual period the Liver shifts the Blood flow from other body parts to the Uterus. Right before menstruation, when the Liver is busy directing the body to menstruate, it has a tendency to neglect its other functions of keeping the Qi and emotions flowing smoothly. As a result, the emotions are no longer able to flow freely, and depression, anger, sadness, weepiness, or any combination is experienced. There may be headaches, breast pain, cramps, and a wide variety of other physical and emotional symptoms. Blockage in the Liver system is a most eloquent description of why pre-menstrual tension and its associated symptoms occur. At this time any Liver obstruction will cause Qi and blood to "back up" or stagnate. If the channels remain blocked, the flow of energy to the Uterus will be impeded, and then the menses are associated with pain and cramping. When diagnosing patterns that are preventing conception, it is absolutely essential to assess where there are blockages in the Liver and Gallbladder.
When the Liver system is not functioning smoothly, the hormonal system is not either. The Uterus itself can become a toxic environment, hostile to implantation. Excess estrogen is not metabolized effectively and can build up, because it is the liver that metabolizes hormones. (It doesn't help that there is a preponderance of synthetic estrogen in our diet, and even in the products we apply to our skin.) Estrogen dominance is implicated in conditions like endometriosis, fibroids, polycystic ovarian syndrome, and cancer. Most women with these diseases are diagnosed with an element of Liver stagnation.
During my 4 year wait of wanting to get pregnant, God began to bring to the surface about forgiveness and letting go. I was sad depressed and cried out to him, then he began to remind me of my unforgiveness. I had been through so much hurt, sadness and pain from the past that I just covered up those feelings without really letting go. I literally broke down in tears and truly forgave the parties. As I began to forgive, I free and finally got a positive pregnancy test but then miscarried. However, since Ihad spent months on forgiving, I refused to allow the loss make me bitter/stop the flow. Forgiveness is not an easy task and it will never be. You might say hey how do I forgive,where do I start; I have been through rape, abuse, messy divorce, hurtful things said, humiliation and betrayal. Most times we think it would go away but it never really does, you can pretend all is well but it never really is. In many cases of abuse, we can see that depression is merely a cover-up for suppressed anger and guilt. When we are depressed, we dwell on negative thoughts about ourselves or our perpetrators. In turn, those negative thoughts cause further depression. It becomes a downward spiral which we often feel is uncontrollable.
People who have been emotionally abused usually suffer from depression and anxiety long after they end unhealthy relationships. Many researchers believe that depression and anxiety surface as a result of suppressed anger toward our abusers. From a clinical perspective, depression often occurs when the brain cannot hold onto serotonin, the feel-good chemical that our bodies naturally produce. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are drugs that were designed to block this 'leaking' of serotonin from our brains. From an internal perspective, depression is a turning away from the outside world and closing down to everything other than self. I've suffered from depression, and I know how it feels to be so emotionally isolated that nothing seems worth doing anymore. There have been times when I didn't want to eat, sleep, play, or even breathe anymore. I saw myself as a worthless creature, taking up space on a planet where I had become obsolete.
First step is to start now - Are they any unresolved emotions that you haven't dealt with and placed on the back burner? Is there something from your past that still fuels that anger or depression? Most times we get thoughts/flashbacks and then a sudden rush of emotions. If you do feel anger, resentment, sadness or depressed then you really haven't gotten over it.
1. Deal with unresolved anger, sadness or whatever issues from the past by writing down what it could be. And then ask yourself why you are still feeling such way.
2. Find someone who you trust to talk about the situation - this is crucial because talking about it actually now opens the door to forgiveness meaning if you can talk about it then you can certainly let go of it.
3. Tell God you forgive, ask him to forgive you of harboring such & help you be whole. If you are a believer ask God to show you any unresolved issues, give you the grace to forgive and heal the hurt/pain/grief.
4. If you can talk with who caused such grief & let them know it did cause you pain but you choose to forgive them and move on. This was a very hard step for me but I chose to do it anyways because this would also cause them to reflect on their action & hopefully choose to act better.
5. Never allow your mind dwell on the hurt anymore, thoughts or flashbacks will happen but the key is refusing to dwell on that emotion and think positive. Act positive, live positive and force yourself to be positive. "I have forgiven them, God has forgiven me and I have moved on." Say that to yourself anytime your ind tries to play tricks on you.
6. At least twice a week, find ways to destress - getting a massage, taking a bath, meditating on positive words & scriptures, praying, listening to worship music, talking walks.
7. Live a healthy life - avoiding sugary foods/drinks, refined carbohydrates, refined or junk foods, practice a habit of juicing especially carrots, beets and apple(carrots are great for detoxifying the liver), Eating small, easily digestible meals - sitting down, chewing thorough, Avoid too much cold foods, drink water - not with meals, Eat frequent, small meals. This keeps the blood sugar levels more stable and inhibits adrenaline release. Use spices that move the flow , like peppermint, rosemary, spearmint, turmeric, and thyme. Most times avoiding drinking milk also helps not necessarily though. Do not overeat. Try to avoid heavy, hard to digest foods like nuts, peanut butter, butter, animal fats, too much meat, and too much bread. Avoid foods with preservatives or chemicals.
8. Avoid harboring anger and resentment. Feelings of frustration and internal emotional tension need to be resolved as soon as possible, as any stagnated emotion can inhibit the Qi mechanism.
9. Laugh often. Watch comedies or funny movies to release any stuck internal feelings.
10. Avoid food with GMOs especially soy foods, I realized I was had too much estrogen & made sure to avoid estrogen foods. And also avoid chemicals like bleach or cleaning products with fumes.
11. Do light massages with your fingers below the navel- Only for women* this will help improve blood flow and help with any stagnation/blockage. This is also important for anyone that has had surgery as those adhesion's can cause stagnation.
And the truth of the matter is you will always have someone who will try to hurt you emotionally or do things to make you sad. It's part of life and living above anger/sadness/depression/hurt/grief shows maturity.It's most times those that are close to us that say hurtful things but CHOOSE to FORGIVE.
*Note I'm not a medical expert but this is based on my experience, do consult with a doctor if need be before making any dietary changes.
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